Fidelia's Sisters: An online publication by, for, and about young clergy women, published by The Young Clergy Women Project.

You see, in our denomination, to ensure fairness, there’s a solid process, where people are reviewed, interviewed, and selected. The pool of candidates needs to be wide-ranging: male, female, differing ethnicities, etc. But sometimes everyone knows that the church is really going to hire the non-ordained interim, or the pastor’s seminary buddy, or that particular someone for whom the job description has been written. Everyone knows it, except for the other candidates.

And, since we have this process, the church sets up a committee that half-heartedly meets. The members ask around for good candidates, and the pool begins to come together. Then the phony interviews begin.

The thing that I hate about this is that I’ve been caught swimming in that pool of candidates too many times. I’m at my church, minding my own business, not planning on any sort of a move, when I get a call from out-of-nowhere, asking me to apply for an exceptional position. And so I go into that excruciating discernment process with my family. I begin to pray, asking God if I could get some divine light on the messy decision.

When I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do, then, I figure that I’ll put together my resume. I become open to uprooting my family and moving. After a couple of weeks of gathering all the data, sweating over essay questions, cajoling references, buying that really expensive resume paper, and recording a decent sermon tape, then, I hold my breath. I hope. I imagine, a little.

I prepare for phone interviews. After they go really well, I look at houses on Realtor.com (after all, they contacted me). I begin to check cost of living calculators and I let myself dream (just a little bit). I hold off my vacation time, because I’m not sure if I’ll need it for a visit. I let the summer slip away, without taking any days off.

Then, a quick couple of months go by, and I don’t hear anything. When I begin to ask around, I find out that they hired X–the person they had in their back pocket all along. In fact, they hired him a month ago.

Finally, I figure it out. I got all caught up in a big, fat sham.

Six months after the hire, I get an embarrassed, apologetic “Dear John” letter. (“All of the candidates were exceptional. We had a really hard time making a decision. God bless you on your search.”) Usually, I’m very grown up about it. I ceremoniously burn the letter, but I don’t even make any voodoo dolls. I might, perhaps, mutter an imprecatory prayer upon the committee, but it’s one from the Psalms, of course.

And in those dark moments, I can’t help but think that this system that’s supposed to establish fairness, really isn’t. I wish that all candidates had one of those highlighters–you know, one of those markers that they use at the mall to determine if a twenty is real or not–that we could use on the inquiry letters to find out if they’re counterfeit.

Of course, we can have some clues when the fake search has occurred, thanks to Susan Olson, the convener of Fidelia’s Sisters. Susan’s worked with many students as the Director of Career Services at Yale Divinity School, and she has become acutely aware of the fraudulent search phenomenon happening across the denominational spectrum. She has even come up with some tips that can help us sniff out if a  committee is not real:

(1) The job is perhaps a stretch for your experience level. They’re looking for two to four years, you have one, and you can’t see anything in the job description that makes it clear why they’d break their preferences for you.

(2) They don’t check your references and seem to be in a hurry to get you out “there” quickly. A good number of fake interviews are at the end of the search because someone--a committee, bishop, or senior pastor--noticed that the committee didn’t interview anybody who is female, who is from a different part of the country, who is (fill in the blank). So the committee scrambles at the end. Fake searches are almost all in a region that is a bit away from you.

(3) During the interview, they talk a lot about their intern, or about what’s happening at another church nearby.

(4) The questions seem pointed, and just “off.” There are lots of questions about things that are not in the job description, or situational questions that seem to appear out of thin air.

(6) They repeatedly call you by the wrong name, or reference your participation in something you never participated in. This is most common with “others” in the process, not the committee. In a chaplain interview, it happens in the student interview. In a church setting, it happens with the spouse of the committee member who shows you around the community.

(7) An elderly lady in the church says, “Now is she the one we want or the other one?” in front of you!

(8) The decision is going to be made about ten seconds after you leave. “We’ll be in touch tomorrow,” is rarely a good sign. And then the rejection email beats you home!

Of course, these tips may not always help us with the anticipation at the beginning of the process; however, they can help us to look back with more clarity, and swallow the pain of rejection a little more easily. If you’ve been caught swimming in the fake candidate pool, at least you can know that you’re not alone.

Carol Howard Merritt has been a pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Abbeville, Louisiana and Barrington Presbyterian Church, Barrington, Rhode Island. Currently, she is a pastor at Western Presbyterian Church in Washington, D.C. She is the author of Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation, which was published by The Alban Institute and recently won the 2008 Award of Merit from the Religion Communicators Council.